Le­gal Af­fairs Min­is­ter Sad­dam Ho­sein re­cent­ly hand­ed out 36 cer­tifi­cates to new­ly ap­point­ed mar­riage of­fi­cers. At the cer­e­mo­ny, Dar­ryl Saun­ders and Ri­han­na John held their wed­ding at Stollmey­er’s Cas­tle. The set­ting—an el­e­gant cas­tle, a ro­man­tic cou­ple danc­ing and ex­chang­ing vows—looked like some­thing out of a fairy tale.

The min­is­ter al­so promised to re­duce the wait­ing time for pro­cess­ing mar­riage of­fi­cer ap­pli­ca­tions from an as­ton­ish­ing ten years to less than 30 days. It may sound like an­oth­er fairy-tale am­bi­tion, but with dig­i­tal tech­nol­o­gy dri­ving the process, we can hope this be­comes a re­al­i­ty. He al­so in­tends to clear the back­log for Jus­tices of the Peace and Com­mis­sion­ers of Af­fi­davits.

Most im­por­tant­ly, Min­is­ter Ho­sein urged the new mar­riage of­fi­cers to coun­sel cou­ples and look for signs of do­mes­tic vi­o­lence, which re­mains a ma­jor na­tion­al con­cern.

This is an ex­cel­lent sug­ges­tion. Mar­riage of­fi­cers, hav­ing al­ready built rap­port with cou­ples dur­ing pre­mar­i­tal coun­selling, could be­come trust­ed points of ear­ly sup­port. A struc­tured fol­low-up sys­tem could even pro­vide valu­able na­tion­al da­ta on re­la­tion­ship pat­terns and chal­lenges.

The Catholic Church’s Arch­dioce­san Fam­i­ly Life Com­mis­sion (AFLC) al­ready of­fers pre­mar­i­tal pro­grammes cov­er­ing both the the­ol­o­gy of mar­riage and es­sen­tial life skills—com­mu­ni­ca­tion, shared val­ues, in­ti­ma­cy, re­spon­si­bil­i­ties, par­ent­ing, men­tal health, and con­flict res­o­lu­tion—equip­ping cou­ples with tools to build a sta­ble mar­riage. Many cou­ples spend months plan­ning the wed­ding day but very lit­tle time prepar­ing for the life­long part­ner­ship that fol­lows. Pre­mar­i­tal coun­selling pro­vides the foun­da­tion they of­ten lack.

Years ago, ex­tend­ed fam­i­lies and com­mu­ni­ties helped guide cou­ples through con­flict. To­day, many cou­ples feel iso­lat­ed, while so­cial me­dia fu­els com­par­isons that make or­di­nary re­la­tion­ships seem in­ad­e­quate. The skills need­ed to sus­tain mar­riage have changed. Mar­riage is not a fairy tale but a dra­ma—full of love, chal­lenges, and growth—in a so­ci­ety that in­creas­ing­ly en­cour­ages self-cen­tred and nar­cis­sis­tic ten­den­cies.

In­fi­deli­ty, of­ten glam­or­ised by the me­dia, car­ries dev­as­tat­ing con­se­quences. A woman who has giv­en her heart may ques­tion her worth, ask­ing why she was be­trayed and whether she was in­ad­e­quate. Trust be­comes painful­ly hard to re­build. The so-called “sev­en-year itch” now re­sem­bles a four-year span, and lo­cal di­vorce rates re­flect this ero­sion. Fig­ures show that one in three mar­riages in T&T ends in di­vorce, with 2,992 di­vorce fil­ings record­ed in the 2022/2023 law term alone.

Mar­riage is se­ri­ous work. It is about grow­ing with some­one you love, work­ing to­ward com­mon goals, rais­ing well-round­ed chil­dren, and learn­ing to be good part­ners. It is not al­ways easy, but over time you re­alise that the beau­ty of mar­riage lies not in per­fec­tion but in choos­ing some­one to jour­ney through life with. When you hold hands lat­er in life, the wrin­kles tell a sto­ry of years shared.

Mar­riage of­fi­cers could be trained to of­fer ba­sic coun­selling and to recog­nise when a re­la­tion­ship needs sup­port, nur­tur­ing, or in­ter­ven­tion. They could al­so iden­ti­fy signs of con­trol or abuse be­fore it es­ca­lates. This sys­tem will not reach those who refuse help or those in com­mon-law unions, but it can strength­en many mar­riages.

Glob­al­ly, mar­riage is in de­cline. Young adults are mar­ry­ing lat­er, pri­ori­tis­ing ed­u­ca­tion, fi­nan­cial sta­bil­i­ty, and per­son­al growth. Many Mil­len­ni­als and Gen Z adults are scep­ti­cal of tra­di­tion­al monogamy and gen­der roles, yet still de­sire com­mit­ted, mean­ing­ful re­la­tion­ships. Co­hab­i­ta­tion con­tin­ues to rise and is of­ten seen as a step to­ward long-term part­ner­ship or even­tu­al mar­riage.

Suc­cess­ful mar­riages tend to thrive with­in strong net­works of fam­i­ly, com­mu­ni­ty, and faith. Part­ners who re­spect one an­oth­er—with­out con­tempt or be­lit­tling—build health­i­er unions. Stay­ing emo­tion­al­ly con­nect­ed by lis­ten­ing, val­i­dat­ing, and show­ing em­pa­thy is es­sen­tial. Shared val­ues around fi­nances, fam­i­ly, loy­al­ty, and am­bi­tions cre­ate sta­bil­i­ty. Sat­is­fied cou­ples main­tain in­ti­ma­cy, com­mu­ni­cate needs, and show af­fec­tion be­yond sex.

Mod­ern pres­sures com­pli­cate re­la­tion­ships: peo­ple now live longer, turn­ing “life­time” in­to 50–70 years; so­cial me­dia and mes­sag­ing apps make emo­tion­al af­fairs eas­i­er; and women’s in­de­pen­dence has re­shaped ex­pec­ta­tions.

Re­search con­sis­tent­ly shows that cou­ples who par­tic­i­pate in struc­tured pre­mar­i­tal coun­selling have 30–50% low­er di­vorce rates be­cause coun­selling sur­faces hid­den ex­pec­ta­tions and teach­es es­sen­tial con­flict-res­o­lu­tion skills. Strength­en­ing mar­riages is not sim­ply about pre­vent­ing di­vorce—it is about build­ing re­silient fam­i­lies, safer com­mu­ni­ties, and a health­i­er so­ci­ety. If mar­riage of­fi­cers, faith groups, coun­sel­lors, and com­mu­ni­ty or­gan­i­sa­tions work to­geth­er, we can cre­ate a cul­ture where re­la­tion­ships are sup­port­ed rather than left to strug­gle in si­lence.

Mar­riage will nev­er be a per­fect fairy tale, but it can be a mean­ing­ful part­ner­ship—one built on com­mu­ni­ca­tion, re­spect, em­pa­thy, and shared pur­pose. When cou­ples are guid­ed, sup­port­ed, and giv­en the tools to grow to­geth­er, mar­riage can move from a frag­ile in­sti­tu­tion in de­cline to a liv­ing force for sta­bil­i­ty, hope, and gen­er­a­tional strength.