In a society such as ours, the weight of parenthood falls heavily on the shoulders of the mother. The mother is expected to carry the responsibilities of taking care of the newborn, and often has to take care of the household, other children and herself, by herself.
The fourth trimester
The postpartum period can be an especially difficult one as you try to navigate the fourth trimester. The birth of your child itself is such a life-changing moment, and one that can be filled with much joy, but also extreme anxiety, worry and pain.
Then the avalanche of hormones right after birth triggers sometimes intense mood swings as your body tries to come back to balance after building up certain hormones over the course of the pregnancy.
Postpartum depression (PPD)
This refers to depression occurring after childbirth. It includes sadness, trouble sleeping and eating, low energy, difficulty concentrating, irritability, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, excessive crying, upsetting thoughts, withdrawing from the baby, or not bonding, anxiety about and around the baby, and fear of harming the baby. These symptoms are considered normal within two weeks of birth, but if they persist into weeks and months, it would qualify as PPD.
The first month is crucial in preventing the development of PPD. She has to deal with postpartum bleeding, changes in her body, and healing from delivery. Sleep deprivation could put anyone in a challenging mood, days and weeks of not getting enough sleep can wear down even the most resilient of people. Even more stressful is if your child is in the NICU (a nursery in a hospital that provides around-the-clock care to sick or preterm babies) if you have a colicky baby, if you are a single mom or suffered from postpartum preeclampsia. There are so many more variables you could mention that add to the stress of a new mom.
How do I know if I have postpartum depression?
Some normal changes after pregnancy can cause symptoms similar to those of depression. Many mothers feel overwhelmed when a new baby comes home. But if you have any of the following symptoms of depression for more than two weeks, call your doctor, nurse, or midwife:
• Feeling restless or moody
• Feeling sad, hopeless, or overwhelmed
• Crying a lot
• Having thoughts of hurting the baby
• Having thoughts of hurting yourself
• Not having any interest in the baby, not feeling connected to the baby, or feeling as if your baby is someone else’s baby.
• Having no energy or motivation
• Eating too little or too much
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Having trouble focusing or making decisions
• Having memory problems
• Feeling worthless, guilty, or like a bad mother
• Losing interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Having headaches, aches and pains, or stomach problems that don’t go away
Many women don’t tell anyone about their symptoms. New mothers may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty about feeling depressed when they are supposed to be happy.
They may also worry they will be seen as bad mothers. Any woman can become depressed during pregnancy or after having a baby. It doesn’t mean you are a bad mom. You and your baby don’t have to suffer. There is help. Your doctor can help you figure out whether your symptoms are caused by depression or something else.
Your tribe of support
This is where your tribe of womenfolk can make a huge difference in your mental health. Having people around who can help you bear some of the many responsibilities would do so much in alleviating the stress of the postpartum period. Gather a support team around you if you can, using both in-person and virtual help, especially in this post-COVID world.
Do not be shy about asking for help, because this is where you really need it.
Those who can assist in person could help with providing food, cleaning laundry, and getting supplies and medications. They can assist in taking care of older children for some time during the day. If they have taken sufficient safety measures, they could assist with helping to feed and care for the baby or take turns feeding the baby during the night, so you could get much-needed rest.
History of trauma
Let your OB/GYN know if you have a previous history of trauma or mood disorders. Be open about your concerns and worries. Knowing your triggers and pain threshold could help your medical team to better assist you during delivery. They would also be better able to monitor you in postpartum checkups.
Working with a therapist during your pregnancy to prepare for possible trauma reactions or postpartum mood disorders will also help in minimising the possibility of developing them.
Focus on self-care
The importance of focusing on self-care and strengthening coping strategies is vital in this period of life. Doing gentle exercises, resting, journaling, stretching, aromatherapy, watching movies are some easy things you can do as you adjust and recuperate. Self-care is also monitoring your symptoms and letting your support network know you need help.
Preparing for the worst and hoping for the best is a good attitude to adopt. This way, if anything goes wrong during delivery or after birth, you would be somewhat prepared to face it. Though nothing can really prepare you for birth and afterbirth, whether it be an emergency c-section, multiples, or a stillbirth, going through different birth scenarios and aftermaths, and practising coping techniques to deal with different outcomes will be helpful. Above all, having your tribe of trusted people supporting you, no matter what happens, is your best preventative measure against postpartum mood disorders.